aaah {{{ ChatNoir }}} ,, you give such an excellent description of a major depressive phase~! i dare say it would be good to attribute your feelings and actions to the disorder (the depression makes me feel like sleeping,, etc), in order to take the burden off yourself...

you might find a med that helps you to suppress your symptoms, and you will be able to resume a more "normal"
life, if that's what you want, i wish you well.

i was unable to find meds that didn't damage me in some way, and i finally found a brain therapy that isn't medical, but technological in nature: holosync, sold by CenterPointe.com. it helps the brain to re-establish neural connections between the 2 halves of the brain, which helps the brain re-balance itself. i know of others who have had good results, permanent improvement, using it.

what ever choices you make in life, i wish you the best~ Gus