As a kid my mother told me that she was sorry that I was incapable of experiencing empathy. I thought I was able to care about others, but she told me that was just sympathy. Basically she made me feel like ****, like there was something wrong with me, and that I was going to turn out a horrible sociopathic monster.

I don't know if I know what empathy is, or if I've felt it. Right now I'm pretty much in a depression, so it's hard to say. A lot of the time as an adult I reacted as I thought people wanted me to, but feeling like I really didn't care, but I wanted them to care about me back and listen to me, so I tried to express empathy and understanding, feeling like I was wearing a mask to hide a monster that didn't care, and feeling guilty that I was so selfish. I often just felt numb or cycling through extreme sadness, anger, etc. I never knew if I was dead inside because of something, or if I really was capable of caring.

I'm not sure where I was going with that right now, it just came out. I had a point in mind somewhere. Too much cafeine to keep my thoughts straight I guess.

At any rate, the tone of your post to me sounds like someone who is disconnected. I couldn't help but wonder if you had been through a trauma when you were younger. Though this could all be my imagination.

I don't know anything about sociopaths, or what is normal. I do recall reading an article about people who have committed horrible acts while crying, or seemingly experiencing a connection with their victim, yet feeling no choice. I think that it doesn't matter so much that you can experience empathy, as much as it matters how you treat others and the choices you make in life.

At any rate, you are curious about it, I do recommend exploring it further, it sounds like something is telling you to. I suppose I will make the usual recommendation of consulting a therapist, if you don't already. A good one can get through the blocks and help you understand.