I'm extremely upset right now because tonight has been rough one. My dad is sticking up for a 3 year old and I'm way older but anytime I'm at the house and I tell the kid to knock it off. I get yelled at. I see my dad with my nephew and think wow my dad really loves my nephew. I wish I felt the same way. My dad sometimes says I love you and that it. With my nephew its awhole another ball game. He loves on him and he plays with him. He does everything a good gparent does. Where was that guy when I was a kid. Why can't he show me he loves me? Why do I feel like a pieace a dirt under the rug when it comes to him. Why can't I be good enough for him? I know this may sound selfish or jealous of a 3 year old. I'm not jealous of a 3 year old. I would never want to be a kid again. I'm jealous because my dad loves him more then me. My nephew everyday tells me he doesn't want me to come in the house. My nephew tells me he doesn't like me. My nephew repeats what dad says to me. I can't win when it comes to a 3 year old and he knows it. I feel like this winter is going to kill me. I think I may have SAD not sure but probably have it. Right now i just want to hurl up in a ball and disapear. I don't want it to start early.

Just a bad day sorry!!