Nothing has really changed in my life or diet or meds, except restoril which I take at night for restless leg syndrome. I tried not taking it and it didn't affect me so I don't think its that. But the past few days, I have been feeling soooo depressed, as in that gut feeling you get, its like really physical as well as mental. Very tired, even though I cannot sleep (I have been staying up for 24-32 hours and sleeping 4 or 5 hours in between), and I have also had more anxiety lately too. I have also been having IBS, or what I think is that. I wish I knew why I am suddenly feeling so terrible. My meds have been really working before all this. The restoril didn't even help me sleep at all, not even when I took more than the prescribed amount (one time a few days ago I took 7 and still couldn't sleep). I just do not know what's going on, and it's scaring me. I have been thinking about self harm again, but I really don't want to fall into doing that again. I keep getting these bouts where I start freaking out because I'm scared of feeling so bad I won't be able to cope. I think that is the anxiety part of it. But I'm really worried about myself, and most of all want this all to go away. I was sick with strep throat and a viral respiratory infection for a week last week but I don't know how that would affect this, other than maybe making me fatigued from fighting off being sick. I recently got off hydrocodone that I was abusing but that was like a month ago, and didn't have any problems before this past few days, (like 5 days so far). I just don't know what to do about but suffer through it. I see my T on wednesday but that's like 2 days away and I don't even know if i can wait that long however I can't get in sooner. Well I guess 2 days isn't that long. But I don't know if seeing him will even help. He can't just magically make it all go away. I've also been having stomach aches and heart palpitations but I think that's also from the anxiety. I just keep feeling that impending doom, like something bad is going to happen. I guess that's anxiety too, but the depression is just so overwhelming. I still function some. But inside I am terribly miserable, and don't know how much more I can take...