OK- so they dx me with a few things,,, severe ptsd was one of them.

I don't think it is severe- Yeah sure I can cry when talking about stuff, get upset, have bad memories that get me stuck in a low slump for days, weeks or so on.... Think illusions with things that are present as well, like not sure if people are being real to me (I am sure that leads into another dx).. but I was a little shocked with severe ptsd... really? Like I don't doubt some, but severe..

I have a boyfriend right now, if it was so severe, wouldn't i just have cats?

Maybe I am not fully comprehending what they mean by severe.....

But I just have to wonder due to the nature of my upbringing, the things that occurred, the lack of love from mommy and daddy and from someone else in a distorted way, the punishment of physical and emotional from parents and siblings, the detachment from dad as a young child, so on and so forth...

The thing I have to wonder is--- just because their life was not that bad, that means I am severe!

I at least acknowledge that I have feelings for this all, even if it is hate/blame/pity/self destruction or hate/ and the list goes on- and not all at once do I have these feelings.

I also acknowledge that I CAN NOT deal with the same home as an Adult as I was a child- I refuse to live in such a home of fighting, lying, abuse and so on.

I also try to take what the bad was, and see that it could in ways make me stronger even if I fall weak some days....

Yeah I feel that it has put a block on me at times to get through some stuff, but really severe... I have to question that...

IDK just how i feel today.... maybe I will feel different in few days or weeks about it.