Thanks Road Runner, I don't know- i think some times I get mad at the fact that I shared it with the psychiatrist and therapist.. I always tell them : " not to compare myself but my siblings I feel got some things worse".... I have always felt that my sister got it worse from our oldest brother, that my 2nd oldest brother got it worse from our dad...we all got it worse from our mother (lol).. I agree with the docs that it was not a normal child hood- and in a sick way, by me saying I did not get it as bad, I tried to run with that as getting through some things- perhaps that is not the right mind set some times..... guess it is like telling myself as I would get told "It's not that bad".... but your right- it does not lessen on how bad it was.