I can relate to a lot of what you posted. I want everything to make sense too. I want to "figure it all out". I want a reason for my ridiculous attachment to Ts. I am tired of it!

Another guess. Forgive me if I'm intruding, skysblue. But I keep thinking of what you posted about your childhood, along with not remembering much about it. Perhaps your attachment to your T does make sense, but you don't know why because you are missing information.

Even if that's not true, so many of us get attached to our Ts even though we don't get attached to others. It's the way therapy works. So, it could be that you're done, don't need it any more, and then the attachment won't be a problem.

OR, maybe talk with your T about it and see what she thinks about being done or not. Or, take this break and see how you do. You can always go back, right?