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irishsj said:
I find myself here again, typing my woes onto my keyboard . Txted him in desperate SOS today, as 21mth old became hysterical to see her sister and him. He ended up asking us over for dinner, and things were fine (apart from the fact where he 1/2 jokingly invited me to bed for $$) until tea was served. He was having a hard time with no1 anyway- well, he was totally stressed out by her and she was doing nothing wrong, and things went SOOO badly during tea. 1st she accidently spilt her juice and you'd have thought she had killed the cat. And it just continued from there. I ended up getting blamed, and being told that this is all why the relationship cannot work. I did enjoy pissing him off a bit tho (hehe) when I was getting into the car. In the still of the nite with ppl walking by I pointed out that it was him looking for sexual favours, and that the only prob 2nite had been with him and his anger... He wasn't too pleased at ppl hearing that, and proberbly didn't like the facts being told straight to him either!!! I don't know where I am at the mo; I am still so down, yet am feeling totally ambivilent to it all at the mo. S'pose I should go soak in a nice hot shower, go to bed and enjoy an early nite. Then again, perhaps I'd better tackle the mess that is meeting me in every room of the house...

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Girl... I'm sorry ... and it may not be my place to say this ... but from what you write, it sounds like he is placing you under a great deal of stress. Even when things seem like they are going OK, it seems like you are walking on eggshells hoping that they are not going to crack (e.g. he is not going to snap at something. Your little one spilt juice and he was ANGRY??

You have said something of your mental health issues from what I have read. Stress, especially that state of not knowing what is going to happen next with someone volatile, can be a BIG contributor to your mental state. It almost doesn't surprise me that you have been so unwell while living with someone who keeps you on tenterhooks.

I am going to stop there ... I hope that you have not been offended by what I said ... but I think you deserve a lot better.

hugs.