Sannah is right, If you cannot accept the past, then it will be nearly impossible to move forward from it, If we can't accept that what happened in the past, how can we accept what will happen in the future? you are stuck in a world without any certainty and stuck in the past, if we ever want to improve how we feel, we need to accept, and move forward.
I know this is much easier said then done, but I know you are strong, and I know you can do it.
((((((((((((((((((nicole)))))))))))))))) I wish you much fortune and hope you will feel better