Send Big Sis to her room to chill! Teach her respect for other's feelings.
When you get it together with your situation, they'll stop feeding off of your emotions and calm down. Children pick on their parents emotions. Somehow they know you feel out of control and so do they. Acting out is their only way of letting you know they's scared.
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Psalm 119:105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.