Hi MsBunny,

I suffer from hocd. For me, i have tried accepting that i am gay and i have tried to tell myself thats how it is, but for some reason it i just cant accept this. I have never felt physically attracted to any woman, sure i can tell when one is attractive, but the thought of being with someone of the same sex, it kinda disgusts me. I have got no problems with people who are gay, i know plenty of them, but i feel totally fustrated for the fact i have this fear in the back of my head that tells me i might be gay. I also fear that people think i am gay, and a different phobia that i have, does not mix well with that.

I think that in time you will discover i who you are. Deep down you will know what you are looking for and sometimes it may take a while to get there.
I have only the other week opened up about these thoughts that i have to my therapist. It has taken me years to do so. We havnt worked through things yet, but i am glad i have that weight lifted off my shoulders. I think it may be good to talk to someone who you can trust. I know that a friend of family member mightnt be the easiest of people to talk to, but if you can find someone to share your fears with, it will take a lot of pressure off you. Try not beat yourself up about how things are for you now, you will discover in time what direction you are headed.