thanks for all the kind words everybody. i was just really embarrassed by my admission. it was a secret i have been keeping for 34 years and while it may not be a huge deal it is just something i am ashamed of, so i just couldnt keep it out there in the open any longer.

alright, i will be brave and post it again.

i have an imaginary world that i escape to. i created it when i was 14. in it i am a little girl. when i am doing well, the world goes away. i havent been there for about a year and a half, but the world has come back this last couple weeks. i will spend hours before going to sleep lost in my imaginary world. over the years, the cast of characters changes, but the theme is always the same. its the theme that i find shameful and embarrassing. i guess it can be best described as there is an abuser and a protector and i just play these different scenarios out over and over, year after year.

I have never told a soul about this world. I dont know why it has resurfaced because I have been doing so well lately. I have thought about being brave and telling T about it.