That's an interesting observation, time0. I have low self-esteem and I'm a high achiever (now anyway) and I know that I'm using that to try to make up for feeling like I have always been a failure. But I'm also stuck in a pattern where I sabotage myself, and knock what I accomplish. For example, I'm in a position where I would likely have gotten a career position at work but now I really doubt that I will because I went to the director and pointed out that I probably won't stay after I finish my master's program. I also discredit the work that I do because I'm just an hourly non-contract employee, and I'm not worth a contract and benefits, etc. And I discredit myself in school even though I'm a graduate student and have had straight A's since starting to take classes again 2 1/2 years ago. I tell myself that the classes aren't really hard, and the teachers probably go easy on me for some reason, and I'm still a failure because I didn't get into the doctoral programs that I applied to. I won't really let anybody appreciate my accomplishments or overachieving, because I don't appreciate it. It's not proving anything to me so I'll just push harder and still find a way to discredit it.

LMo, do you accept what you accomplish? Do you push harder in one area to make up for a deficit in another? (I do - I don't think I'm any good at relationships, particularly at home).

Time0, do you give yourself credit for the things that you do well? I would be willing to bet that you have things that you are good at, as well as things that you would like to be better at. When we guage our self-esteem on our accomplishments maybe some of us tend to focus on the areas where we think we need improvement. And maybe it would be more genuine if we could base our self-worth on who we are rather than on what we do anyway.

Rap