I would echo the recommendations about putting more distance between yourself and your "family". My mother is a classic Narcissist who use to like to "weaponize" us kids against our father. I've found that the less contact I have with her, the better I feel.

I'm in the same boat regarding trouble with current relationships and being worried about the other party getting angry, leaving me, etc. Only real advice I can give is what my therapist told me: "just because your childhood was full of relationships like that doesn't mean all your relationships will be that way."