I am sorry again you are still having such a hard time.

I guess you can't make your mother let you come, but I relate to the pain of someone saying no.

I hope you do find a place to go.

I have had to go off meds myself, too, many times, and not told my doc's. They usually dont' help. But that's just me. Meds have never really helped me.

I am doing DBT myself, on my own ( dbtselfhelp.com ) but it sounds like your mother wants you to take a formal course with a professional.

I have been improving on the DBT on my own, not as much as I want now, but somewhat. My bpd did not happen overnight I dont' expect it to just go away.

I read DBT stuff every day now.

I also use other tools, such as SMART recovery, which uses Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and that's also a self-help thing.

I do a lot of recovery online.

There is a way out of problems.

I hope you keep trying.

Whatever you need to do.

I visualize a great place for you to do that. Another better home, better place to recover.

Billi