First, thanks Doc for reminding all of us that it is only through rational, mutually respectful conversations that any understanding can be arrived at...

And as for MY "2 cents." As a Happily Married Man with a rather extensive history of the use of pornography, I can personally say - for me - that what started as adolescent "curiosty," quickly progressed to a means by which to dissociate, and eventually, over time, to addiction. Not only is porn addiction a recongized illness by most professionals, I can tell you - having "kicked" a number of addictions in my lifetime - the recovery from porn addiction follows the same patterns as drug or alcohol addictions. I had to eventually get to the point where I saw there was a problem. Where I realized I was patronizing an industry that exploited women. And I didn't want to be "that guy" any longer. And I had to "come to believe" that I was powerless over that addiction and begin to take steps to turn my behavior over to a "Higher Power" - be it my T or Doctor, or fellow addict who was also recovering from this particular malady. Part of MY personal recovery was exploring why I developed the need to dissociate via this method in the first place. First I had to put out the fire (stop the behavior) but then I had to fix the wiring (explore the reasons why). And - to address another point - it had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO with my wife, or OUR physical relations. It was ALL ABOUT ME. And the history and reasons I chose this activity and eventually built up the tolerance and exculating behaviors that come with ANY addiction.

I hope that helps anyone who may be confused by why men (and women I might add!) engage in this behavior. It's only one story - it's only MY story. But from what I've come to learn by talking to others, it's pretty typical....