I really struggle with balance. I have had to cut back on what I'm trying to do since my last depressive episode earlier this year, because it was all too much, and I haven't gone back to my prior workload yet - mostly in fear of relapse. And that's after cutting back on what I was doing as soon as my coursework was finished, at which point I started taking a day off every week.

But it's extremely hard to resist taking on new projects and getting myself in up to my neck when I'm hypomanic, and I always seem to do my planning and goal-setting when my mood and capacity is high. So then I end up unable to follow through, never sure why, and I'm constantly berating myself for falling short of what I clearly should be able to accomplish. Nevermind that it's the work of at least three people.

When I had a low-stress life, I was basically just underemployed. I got bored and cranky from being underemployed; that in itself was depressing. Now I have a high-stress lifestyle, and I never complain about getting bored! Plus I love what I do. But I'm always struggling to keep up, and I'm really walking the line in terms of what I'm realistically able to manage. I don't have a good sense of what's reasonable at all, and it's a major issue for me.