OMG, I've always kind of suspected a kind of weird collusion, as you describe here, because what other explanation is there? It seemed like my dad would LOOK at me across the dining room table sometimes... thank you so much for sharing this. I can't believe he told you this before he passed! He must have felt horrible, guilty about abandoning you to be bullied by her, but he was also bullied by her. My pdoc repeatedly asked me how did my mother come to have so much power? By dad abdicating, as yours did. No wonder you feel you know us. But no one has ever brought us this news before. I want to say, not as a joke, I mean it sincerely but it does sound kind of funny - he couldn't have told you sooner?! It could have helped. But at least in the end he did. Wow.