Hi all,

Just wanted to give everyone an update, and say thank you for all the kind words. Well, I did go in to talk to the mental health folks. They diagnosed me with severe PTSD and put me on medication to help with both nightmares and for the daytime.

Now that the meds have kicked in, I realize just how bad things were inside my head... Even when I thought I was doing "OK", in reality I was having all kinds of "mental static" (that's the best way I can describe it) going on. It wasn't until it stopped that I was able to realize that I had gotten so used to the constant craziness that I thought it was normal.

Although the meds have helped about 85 to 90 percent, the PTSD is always just right there... Just seeing the wrong news story, watching the wrong show, or even overhearing people talk about some things, and bang, I have an episode, but its not constant anymore.

Next week I'm finally going to start the PTSD treatment program at the VA.

I can only say really good things about the military mental health folks; they brought a quick and fast end to my commander kicking me out. We have a year to get this taken care of and return me to duty, or else I will go to a medical evaluation board (MEB). The only really good thing is that I will be over 15 years of service by then and if the MEB finds that I can't continue to do my job I'll be medically retired.

I've been told that the PTSD treatment folks may ask me to come off my meds, I'm really kind of scared of that idea now that I know how messed up I was. Also, I'm just now starting to be able to connect with my kids again, and I've completely stopped drinking...

Well we'll see how it goes and I'll try to let you all know from time to time. Mostly so if there is anyone else out there with these problems they can see that there is help available.

Thanks again all.