I would love to be first in someone's world. Know what I mean? Not just that that person would always be there for me, but that I would be the first to hear the good news from that person's life, or called on to lend a hand.
I have 5 good friends, & I count them all blessings. Still, there have been holidays when I've been all alone because, for one reason or another, none could include me. Sorry & all that, won't happen again, you understand, etc. Of course I understood. I did.
Days have gone by when none of them have called, when none returned my calls. I try not to sound desperate, so I seldom call a second time.
Still, most of the time, when I need them they come through.
What I miss is being needed back. They all treat me as if I were a fragile sugar flower on a day-old cake. Great if you don't handle it, stress it out too much. If you do, it will fall apart.
So see? I miss the closeness of friendship on two levels: having someone always there for me, and being the one someone else needs.
Am I being ungrateful? Too sensitive? Or am I plain out just asking for more than the bi-polar world includes?