Firstly, the TDoc and PDoc can commit you to a hospital if they feel you are a danger to yourself or others for up to a 72 hour hold. As to your job and wife, if you were dead, none of that would matter anyhow. So why not go into the hospital and get the help you need. It is no different than a diabetic going to the hospital due to really high blood sugar. No judgments are there. When I feel as you do and I have everything all planned out, I was sent to the hospital or took myself. It was the best thing I ever did for myself and my recovery. And let me tell you, if you kill yourself you will permanently and irrecoverably hurt and damage your wife and anyone else close to you. It will devastate them. And if you have kids, they will be much more likely to kill themselves in the future when trying to deal with their problems. Please don't leave behind a legacy of death and destruction. People care about you, whether you believe it or not. I care about you. I know what it feels like to be there, know that you are valuable and we here at PC care about you very much. You are not alone in this. Ever.