Hey, OneDown. There wasn't a single sentence in your post that came out as a rant. It was well & clearly stated.
So, too, was Lauru's post.

I've been in the psych unit of a local hospital for a month. It was a "voluntary" admission but I would have been committed if I hadn't cooperated. I was a mess; even so it was not an easy decision. I went, tho, because the only thing I was sure of was that I was at my wit's end. I had to get fixed or I had to end it all.

If you're anywhere near that point, then what anyone else feels or may do if you go into the hospital is not what you can do anything about. It shouldn't be an issue. Lauru is so right: If you kill yourself, you will do irreparable damage to the people you're worried about.

Assume suicide is out. That leaves hospital. Go. Let the other people handle their feelings. You'll be surprised how strong some people can be when they need to be.

I came out of my hospital stay with a new diagnosis, new meds, & an entirely new outlook on my life. My friends & co-workers were a bit distant, cautious at first. As days then weeks passed, they experienced a "me" they liked better & trusted more.

You getting better can happen only if you will put yourself first.

It's not selfish. It will be hard work on your part, but the payoff is terrific.