Rapsody,

I went through the feelings & attempts for many years......between 1994 & 1998. I don't know if the cause was anything similar to what you are going through, but if you feel comfortable enough to PM me, I would be glad to try & give you some needed support. I have come a long way since then & have turned completely around, finding that I really do have something wonderful in life to live for.

I think that was the main key for me.......from loosing my job (which was my identity), to finding something that gave my life meaning & purpose. Since then, I went through a trauma that has really hit me for a loop, & am trying very hard to get through all the pain, nightmares, flashbacks, & feelings of watching myself instead of being myself (depersonalization....as my pdoc calls it). However this experience didn't send me back into the feelings of not wanting to be alive.....rather the feelings now of wanting to be alive to try I make the person that caused the trauma pay for what she did to me & I am sure many others.

Please feel ok to PM me....I would be glad to try & help you through the feelings you are experiencing, knowing how real, bad & horrible those feelings are.

Take care of yourself while you work through these feelings......they don't go away overnight, even when I ended up in ICU on a breathing machine.....didn't make the feelings go away.

Hugz,
Debbie