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Irreplaceable · Nov 17, 2011, 11:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anika

I'm going to come at this with a bit different approach. And yes you may have made some mistakes ie. Restraining her. But it don't believe you were doing so in a way intended to harm. Learn from it, don't do it again. And move on.

To me you sound like you are very desperately trying to hold onto this relationship. And I understand that. When we feel like we are loosing someone we love we tend to get that way. I read all the responses here and a lot of talk how to best serve her. What about how to best serve yourself in all this? To me is sounds as tho you have been in a committed relationship with her for quite some time, yes? I'm going to take an unpopular stance here and that is that bipolar or not we are accountable. I would not let someone string me along that I had been committed to for sometime while in the meantime listen to their woes of being confused by the new man at work. In my opinion bipolar or not she needs to make up her mind and not drag this on and on.

That might not be a quick process but I really think you need to step back and just focus on what you want. And what you need. I have bipolar 1 and it sometimes affects my relationship yes. But I also work very hard to make for the best relationship possible. Relationships can be hard no matter who is involved. I'm not convinced her indecisiveness is directly bipolar related or just a normal thing people go through. What bothers me is that she seems very unconcerned about how you are doing and you seem so concerned about she is doing. Where are "you" in all this.

I'm not sure if this was in reference to my comment, but just to clarify, (and I thought about this AFTER i hit reply

) I actually saw that as what he did as being a positive thing...It's hard to explain...I think maybe what i mean/meant is that it shows, well, at least to me, that he was concerned and trying to protect her in a way...

Besides all of that, let's get to the meat of it all...Anika, I TOTALLY agree with everything you said in that last paragraph...Every word of it...Relationships take alot of work...Period...It's something you have to CONSTANTLY work at...And that goes for anyone...No matter how long you are with someone, it will always take work....Having the condition that I have, I realize that this will cause even more work in my relationship...But the key, as Anika said, is to keep the communication open.....And it's possible that her confusion is coming from her bipolar...But if she knows that you are there waiting for her, she needs to sort her feelings out and let you know where you two stand...At the very least, she should at least say, "You know what? I just need a little time to sort my feelings out"...If that means you two taking a break, then that's what it means and you have to accept that...But if she's just shutting you out, then that's another story....I could respect a person more if they are honest about how they feel about me...Either way it goes, you do have to look out for yourself...You can only do so much...Only thing you can do is let her know that you are there for her...And leave it at that....If she comes around, great....If not, you have to know that you did everything you could do on your end....You tried being there for her, it seems like you're really fighting for this relationship....It won't work if one person is doing all of the fighting...Good luck...