(((((beauflow))))) Really sorry you are struggling so. Can't relate on your scale cause I don't rapid cycle, but can understand from your post why you are so frustrated & confused.
Also finding out your friend almost committed sui sure didn't help.
Sometimes, for me, little things do add up, just depends on who & what try are.

Have you tried calling T cause it might make you feel better going into the weekend, just letting him know what's going on.

Sending many, many good thoughts your way.