ugh. 2.5 hours until my appt w/new-T. I've been holding on all day. I don't know if I can wait any more, though. The pain just keeps coming in waves. I've tried everything I know, everything I can think of, to distract myself. I've tried sitting with the pain instead of pushing it away. I've tried breathing in all kinds of complicated ways. I really think this pain might be so much bigger than me, there is no way I can possibly contain it.