Hello & Welcome, Theoctopusproject!
- Persistent procrastination
- apathy
- self-loathing
- escape into alcohol
- and lack of motivation
can all be signs of depression. Only a professional can diagnose you, but these are all warning signs. Have you thought of talking to the folks at your university's student counseling center?
My first personal impression is significant, sustained drive demands a passionate vision. You seem to lack the vision. Perhaps finding yourself and a suitable vision of your future is your first priority.
Please keep posting. Consider these forums a kind of sandbox where you can work out what you might want to say to those who can guide you.
__________________
My dog

mastered the "fetch" command. He would communicate he wanted something, and I would fetch it.