I know it's hard. The only advice I have is to make a list of all the negatives of your self injury, because most of the time when we are craving it, all we can think of are the bennefits. Here's my recent list to give you an idea of what I'm talking about.
1. Hearing my dad cry outside the bathroom door begging me to not do anything.
2. Cutting while on the phone with my pastor and lying about it.
3. Snapping to, realizing there's blood everywhere and not remembering doing that much.
4. Never-ending fear that someone will find and take all my 'tools' (I hid stuff everywhere)
5. Would lose my job if employer found out.
6. Long sleeves all the time.
7. No swimming (couldn't risk someone seeing and informing employer)
8. Unintentional permanent damage to my body.
9. Loss of control over my addiction.
10. Medical expenses
11. Loss of friends, who couldn't handle watching me slowly kill myself (I wasn't trying to but lack of control was causing this)
12. God doesn't want me to.
13. Only understanding friends were those going through it, and thus I had to watch themselves in pain, and dealing with the fear of them dying from it.
That is just the list so far. I don't know how severe you are hurting yourself, but honestly that doesn't matter much, because it always gets worse. You always need more pain. I remember saying the same things you are when I started hurting myself. And people gave me advice and told me to quit while I was ahead, and I ignored them, but now I am glad that there was someone trying to help me, even if I wasn't going to accept it. I care about you, and it is not a waste of my time to type this. Even if you, and others, don't heed the warnings, it will never be a waste of my time to let you know that I want to help.
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God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
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