I don't know! You remind me of myself. My T is always telling me not to try to figure it out so much. It's easier to see it in someone else, though. I know how much you want to figure it out but maybe there's no answer, or maybe there are many answers. Why not let it play out naturally and see how you feel when you see your T next. I know....it's hard. I obsess and try to figure things out just like you do.