Welcome to the forum theoctopusproject!

I understand what you mean since I basically went through the same thing.
I worked my butt off to get into a good college but when I got there everything fell apart because I didn't really know what was the point of it all and I was not performing as well as my classmates.

I think I should've taken a year off from school to really think about what the heck I was doing with my life and to understand myself. Maybe do an internship during that time to see how working in the real world was like and gain experience. If you want to travel, you might still be able to do study abroad for a semester or a summer.

Most importantly, talk to someone about what you're going through, like the dean of your department or your professors if you are having doubts about what you're doing in school. I regret not doing this until really late in school, it would've saved me from going through so much if I just switched majors. And if your school offers psychological counseling, that can help too with coping with depression.

I think apathy is considered a sign of depression. You usually just lose interest in everything you used to like when you're depressed =\ And lay off the booze, it makes the depression worse.

Goodluck with everything!