I don't know why, but I assume that since I'm trustworthy and honest, that other people I like or attracted to are as well. Unfortunately it seems most people (particularly men for some reason), are not. Apparently being honest not important to them nearly as much as avoiding people being upset. That kind of thing angers me. I hate that women are described as "weak" or "passive" or "manipulative", when it seems most men are so weak and cowardly and manipulative that they can't even be honest and open, why hide things? I really feel sometimes a lot of female stereotyping is men projecting what they are or fear onto "the other" so they don't have to contend with their flaws.

I feel conflicted because I hate being alone, I feel like my life is meaningless and empty, but I don't think it's worth getting close to anyone again. It's seems it's not worth getting my heart broken repeatedly.

I feel like I can't trust "friends" not to betray me either, I don't understand why people discuss your private life behind your back and then people start treating you differently or distancing themselves. I don't like to do this to people, as it makes me feel ******. At least I know one person who is honest enough to tell me not to tell her anything I want to be kept private because she is unable to. I appreciate that.

Why can't people (at least the ones I meet/know) be honest and trustworthy? Why is it when you are these things people just screw you over repeatedly?

It would be so nice not to feel alone anymore...