((Beauflow)) I'm sorry about your friend, but I'm glad he lived. I can see how something like that would be very triggering.
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On Tuesday afternoon or so I was like I KNOW WHY NO ONE likes me I get it---
Tuesday Night in Wednesday Morning i felt like everyone hated me, and Did not understand why and wanted answers
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When you feel like no one likes you, remember that we do! I can really relate, though. I've been living my life expecting people to be harsh with me (and show other signs of hatred) for the past few months. Darn depression.
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Then Wednesday morning = IDK what to classify this as- but I went a little crazy- I though my life was a cruel joke- I tried to by a pan, it does not fit what I wanted to use it for, i tried to buy a plate cover for the car- that does not fit- I could not find things to do work, i went crazy with emotional thoughts and all over the place I broke down doing my crazy crying..
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I'm not sure if this is exactly in line with your experience, but I often feel like God created me so that other people could look at me and feel better about themselves. I feel like I am the "scourge of the universe". And the pan that didn't fit, etc.? When that happens to me I take it as evidence that the universe has turned itself against me. Crazy? Yes. But our emotions just aren't logical, especially when we are in psychological pain.
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My boyfriend says the little things don't add up (i keep saying that cuz so much **** has been going ON! and yes the little things add up- espcially if there big things going on).. Boyfriend says that Life IS NOT Math- we don't add them up, they are just little things.. and they don't** matter
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I respectfully disagree (quite strongly, actually) with your bf. The little things absolutely do add up. Psychology has found that "daily hassles" adversely affect both physical and psychological health. And psychological distress can be quantified, so life IS math in a way.
I hope that you feel better soon. December is a long time to wait to see your therapist. Take care of yourself.
