Yup sometimes it happens that way.

I know when a memory is trying to break through into my conscious level because it always happens the same way for me -

first I get nightmares and flashbacks.

usually the nightmares are the kind I can't remember any details of after waking up and as it gets closer I start waking up in panic attacks.

The flashbacks start out the same way quick pieces of pictures that are there and gone so fast that all I have time for is a quick hold my breath gasp action and then its gone I call these mild ones. then as it gets closer the flashbacks become more pieces of pictures, sounds, smells, tastes, that I can tell a little bit of what they are. I call these the meduim ones. Then they become full blown pieces of painful vivid pictures, smells, tastes, sounds, feelings and touches and usually so painful that I have a hrd time doing anything at all.

then I can't sit still or get comfortable. No matter what position I try to sit in it hurts or doesn't feel right. alot of keyed up energy and no place to put it and nothing helps to get rid of it.

Finally the memory comes through.

then I go through a bit of time with the flashbacks going with the complete whole memory.

Then after a while things start settling down again

what helps me through it all is art work journalling and so on. I've already updated on my stock of art supples, notebooks for journalling, floppy disks for my word computer program for writing my jounalling on that, play dough, and so on because as you have read in my blog my therapist and I are using hypnosis (relaxation visualizations) in my therapy sessions and we are preparing to use this to find out what I can't remember about this nightmare of mine that refuses to boot into active phase of my memory recall process on its own.