Thanks for sharing Costello! It's quite alright, maybe talking about movies and literature would be nice for a change. I can't worry about my bf all the time, I have to try to enjoy life somewhat. if I don't I tend to get anxiety when I start thinking about the negative stuff.
Also, the character Matthew sounds very similar to my bf, but you wouldn't have known that. lol It's nice that you would like a low key kind of guy like that.
Now I'm thinking that I should just be greatful that my bf is a good guy, maybe absent at times but a very god guy. maybe if being absent is the only worry then things aren't so bad after all.
I guess I get so upset because I always had an idea of what my future husband was going to be like, I couldn't imagine that he'd have SZ. I was thinking I'd like a powerful, corporate type guy. But I also can't imagine my life any other way but WITH my bf.
But also as a recovering shy/quiet person I wanted to make up for lost time and make friends and have a great social life. know what I mean? now that I've made the friends I want to keep them and some times it worried me that my bf didn't want me to be social.
But at least that is in the past now and he doesn't mind me being social. Or he's just not paranoid and delusional about what my socialness may mean for him. He was worried that I'd forget about him, which is impossible.
Now I'm going off on a tangent again, sorry. I think the best thing I can do is just work on my own inner conflict issues and try to be more mindful of everything.
Anyway, thanks for listening. I hope you and your son are doing well.
Quote:
Originally Posted by costello
I suspect this way of thinking isn't that uncommon.
Isn't that funny. I wouldn't. I'm not in a relationship and haven't been for many, many years. But if I were I think I'd kind of like more of a quiet, unassuming, homebody. Maybe someone a little shyer. Maybe that's why I'm not in a relationship! My special someone is sitting at home somewhere. 
There's a character in Anne of Green Gables I've always thought would be a perfect husband. Matthew Cuthbert. Some descriptions from the internet:
- Matthew Cuthbert - Marilla's brother, a shy, awkward man who takes a liking to Anne from the start. The two become fast friends. He is far less talkative than Anne, but is a very good listener.
- Matthew is Marilla’s bachelor brother and Anne’s adoptive father. Shy and gentle, Matthew likes to avoid confrontation. But he’s pretty good at giving advice in a kind way that’s easy to take.
- There is something very moving about Richard Farnsworth’s portrayal of Matthew – the shy brother of Marilla's. He did not want for very much and was content living a simple life. Both Anne and Marilla knew that although Matthew didn’t speak very often, when he chose to voice his opinion it was important that they listen. Whatever he had to say was enlightening.
That's my dream man! Not for me the social butterfly. 
And with that I've taken this thread completely off topic! |