this makes me so sad. I lost my son 4 years ago this year, and altho it does get easier (well, i haven't really totally accepted it or dealt with it yet... that's still to come) I have found that spending a little alone time for just my thoughts helps. I cannot help but be reminded of his birthday every year- it is the day after mine- and ppl all too often make reference to that in cards that they send to me. It would be nice if they could make reference to it separately, as it would be 'his' day... All the best and I hope you can get thru this ok.