LOL not at you at the waa waa waa. EXACTLY I know someone is talking but the fine tuning is off. LOL

I think I remember somewhere in my blog explaining how SKR and I worked this part but Ill put it here too -

SKR and I would be talking and Id be suddenly gone and she would be left talking to me acting out memory pieces while I was mentally floating off into la la land. After I told her about being diagnosed MPD (now called DID) years ago she asked what happens and all I could tell her then was I heard static and was in my tunnel then I was in la la land floating on my musical clouds listening to my music.

One day she asked me to start telling her when I hear my static getting louder and when I am in my tunnel.

A few sessions after this we were talking about I don't rremember what but I do know that it was just something of normal chit chat, and out of the blue and with no warning she said "where are you in the nightmare?" I answered just as fast "in my bedroom I don't want to talk about this" She got up and sat in the chair next to me and said "too late we already are where in your bedroom?" "In my bed the static is getting louder" and I was gone to la la land.

When I became aware again she told me she knew what the static was and had me look at the time it was past the time when the session was supposed to be over.

The next time she sprung a hard topic on to me she didn't let me go to la la land so easily. She moved her chair right in front of me and made me look at her and tell her what barrette she was wearing, did I like her green shirt, once I calmed down she told me that we were going to continue and she wanted me to stay where I could see and hear her for however long I could.

I call those sessions marathon sessions because she would fire questions at me and just as fast I would answer and at the same time we were going the distance to see how long I could hold on and keep answering that I could still hear and see her and answer questions about what she was saying wearing and so on.

At first I couldn't do it then as we did the marathon sessions more I became stronger at staying connected to the present while experiencing the memories. Its not easy but with practice it will happen.

now I ometimes I actually surprise myself. At my last session with LL we were setting up for doing and recording a relaxation visualization. she asked me if I wanted a calendar she was handing out calendars from the local girl scouts club. and I am looking at it and she said something about a picture of a snake.

As far as I knoow I have never told LL that one of my triggers is snakes but at the mention that there was a snake in one of the pictures I got that floaty tunnel area feelings I saw my hand start shaking so I acted like I was flipping through the pages of the calendar to mask the hand shaking then I bit down a little bit on my inside of my cheek checking to make sure I could still feel then I focused on the other pictures and then I backed up to the snake picture and said - "Oh that little thing" As if I see snakes everyday of my life LOL then put the calendar in my back pack which was a disguise for feeling the texture of the small bead pillow that was inside by back pack for times when I need comfort and reconnecting with the present.

I thought I pulled off this last part of the bluff but at the end of the session LL made the comment that my back pack sure holds alot and asked what was in there. LOL busted!

I listed off some stuff and shoed and told her - oh just my coat because it was raining when I left the house - then distracted her from the rest of the contents by pulling up my medical baggie next with my medical card and my Declairation for mental health treatment form. right on cue she took my new monthly medical card and went to make a copy of it.

LL now knows me TOO well she can see through my bluffs LOL which I gues is a good thing.

Hang in there (((((((((((((Evangelista)))))))))))
It gets easier I promise.