I'm so eager to talk to my T about this. But I also have other stuff I want to talk to her about when she returns. Oh my - how to best use the 50 minutes.

But, when I imagine my conversation with T, I can imagine what she'd say. She'd say, 'trust the process'. She has said when I've asked her if she's seen people who really make changes and become authentic to themselves she has replied (and I have this saved on a voicemail to replay as often as I can)

"Yes, I have seen people make amazing changes and become authentic to themselves. But it's not a linear path. The mind likes us to be on a linear path so that we can see progress that we can measure and we could see ourselves progress from one level to the next.

"But it's a mysterious and roundabout process and there comes a shift eventually without us even knowing it's shifted. So, yes, people do make progress."

And, to be honest, I have experienced that myself. Some issues I've addressed in session have just, like she has said, mysteriously shifted in their importance or meaning to me. The facts have not changed but my perceptions or my ability to handle them have changed dramatically. And I cannot explain why. So, she's right - it is not linear nor easily understood.