Queen of Chaos,
I understand what your saying, forgiving is something that is very very difficult to comprehend doing in certain situations. I do struggle with that myself.

I have forgiven many people in my past because they caused harm to me due to their illnesses or life struggles. I cannot ever forget the consequences I suffered, it is clear to me that I cannot erase my past. But I can find ways to recognize certain malfunctions in others where I ended up becoming a victim. And it doesn't mean that I have to allow that other person to participate in my life in any way ever again, it doesn't mean that I have to truely love that person or accept them in my life or be responsible for them in any way.

I will say that at the moment I still sruggle from damage that I am still addressing due to a neighbor's negligence. That neighbor could have submitted a claim to their insurance company, however they are denying something that they had admitted to, is a fact and resulted in a lot of damage to my life and income and state of mind. The reason they are not just putting in a claim is that they do not want to be responsible for more than an insurance company will cover. Even though they knew their electric containment system had failed and they failed to fix it, were negligent, they do not want to pay for the result of that negligence. It has effected so many aspects of my life that I truely cannot even wrap my brain around it. In this case I am still trapped with a lot of damage so honestly, to forgive this is not in the realm of my capacity right now. In fact I am on the phone today trying to beg credit card companys that hold this debt for veterinary expenses etc, in a hope that somehow I can find a way to lower interest rates or payments. And how I am going to achieve this is beyond me because the money is just not there, so this continues to effect my credit rating which for all my life was excellent but now god only knows what it is. So I honestly cannot conceive forgiveness in this area at the moment.
And the neighbor is still not nice and still finds ways to trespass, how can anyone forgive that?

I do my best to forgive to the best of my ability, but it doesn't mean we should turn into best buddies or friends or allow any person who has caused harm into our lives and hearts.

Open Eyes