This is what brought me here to this site, I thought I was losing my mind. I thought surely I am not mad, I am still the same person, but my partner had changed not long after we got married , about six months, and was using drugs. I couldn't communicate with him anymore. I prayed and did everything right, but he was like a different person. Nothing I did was right.
When I was pregnant, I was at home not working and things got bad.Then my baby came and my partner was very demanding, I couldn't cope, everything fell apart and I got very depressed, for a long time I did everything I could to make him happy but it was too exhausting with baby as well and I was constantly trying to make him happy, and things got worse.
So eight months ago when I realised from a lot of reading and desperation that I was depressed and getting worse and worse, I started to look at leaving him. Since I've known in my head that I'm leaving I've felt better and better everyday. some days are hard but it keeps me going.

I could not go to a shelter, I want to be very prepared so there's no turning back. I've saved enough money to get us into a small place. I work one day a week and a lady at my work has been a reference for me to get a house to rent. She knows I'm leaving for good reasons and is willing to help me this way.

I think about what will happen later on but if my husband tries to take my child or harm us, my parents although disgraced, know he has hurt us and I think they will be on my side. But I will seek legal help because I am a citizen and I work and don't do drugs.
EVen though I have had depression and struggled, I've been a good mother, so hopefully that will count.
The law, from what I've read is very forgiving when it comes to men and there children, what I find sad, is they want to see their children when they're not allowed to but they are no good to the women who raise their children, and spend little time at home with their children.
It's so much to consider, it would be so much better if, when they hurt you could just walk out and say leave us alone or the law will get you : )

Thank you again.