I ran across the article below, which is very relevant to this thread. It describes what we've been talking about here as "The Game of Happy Family," and has much more to say about self-deception of all kinds.
Insights into Self-Deception by Daniel Goleman
http://www.nytimes.com/1985/05/12/ma...p=1&sq=&st=nyt
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We must love one another or die.
W.H. Auden
We must love one another AND die.
Ygrec23