wow...I have had people to tell me to just get over it and get on with my life...I have always been a proud woman who didn't need help from anyone raising my 3 kids alone. That was my shining achievement, that I did not ruin my kids, as I was a very stressed out mom. Wondering how I was going to feed them at times. Even burnt some of our wood furniture in the fire place to stay warm. I was stubborn and proud. But I got up every day and provided for them. Now, I try every day to keep the regrets at bay. It is not easy to climb out of that deep dark hole. If all it took was to say it.....I would be out running the streets of New York City doing what I loved best. Challenges....of any and all kinds. I was ready for them. Now it is a challenge to just make it through a day. If I put my younger self side by side with who I am now...I wish I still had access to her.... I think she was awesome....but not me so much. Just trying to find the "reason" to continue through the pain of my soul.