No, no! I'm not self medicating with alcohol and drugs at all. Well I was with alcohol but not anymore thank God. The marihuana was just a onetime thing, like I said, I hadn't smoke in years and look where it has brought me. Drinking now just makes me feel sick. I went to several doctors and they all insist I take anti-depressants and I did..for a week and then stopped. I just don't feel right taking them I don't know. What I've found most helpful is talk therapy, and not just with a therapist who by the way barely listens to you, but with people that can relate to your experiences.