Gosh LMo...there are so many ways this could go and not knowing your husband, I can't offer too much in the way of concrete help.

You mentioned your/his T. Would it be possible to arrange a session soon and get this hammered out?

Also, and please tell me if I'm crossing any boundaries, is your husband on any meds that could lift the anxiety...at least long enough to handle this?

Most of all, my thoughts and prayers to you hon. {{{{{LMo}}}}}}