"He/she is the professional and must guide things in the right direction. All I'm saying is that he should/must act professionally. In my opinion anything else is unacceptable.

There are so many people/patients on this forum who seem to be having problems with their feelings towards their t. Surely it is the responsibility of the t. to be sensitive to this and act accordingly, and indeed to make sure that the patient also understands just what is going on, and knows what emotions to expect to experience."

Dear HC,

I don't know if you are in therapy or your understanding of therapy but whole schools of therapeutic training are based upon the relationship and interactions and feelings and responses on both the psychologist's part and the client's feelings and responses as well. The ways in which the client responds to and attaches to the therapist and learns to form new bonds and healthy relationships both in and out of the therapist's office are the key to good therapy. As the client learns to bond and trust and receive healing and direction within the professional bounds of the therapeutic relationship, they are in a cocoon of safety that they can find no where else.

To say it is up to the therapist to direct the expectations of the client is missing the point. No one can direct the responses and feeling of anyone else in any situation. What triggers and associations one client may have will never be the same as another. Same as in RL. You cannot control anyone else ever. The whole point IS for the client to react and explore their reactions and emotions and ability to form relationships. Setting boundaries is up to both the therapist and the client. It is a dualistic endeavor. Again, boundary setting is another lesson and area to explore.

It is no wonder that we question and doubt and explore and hurt together as we go through this process. If we are really working in therapy, there is a lot of vulnerability and risk involved in order to get to the trust, healing, security and positive connections that we all seek. Everything has a balancing opposite and we must learn how to work with both the good and the bad to become strong and flexible to adapt to our ever changing worlds. It is not a straight line healing, it is an up and down process and it hurts, and we share with each other to support one another to become stronger and more loving and connected individuals.

It is not black and white nor simple. It is not easily managed. It is not "directed" or scripted. It is highly individualized and incredibly personal and sensitive to the hurts and deep emotional pain suffered by the ones that come to these therapists for relief. It is emotionally charged and sensitive and can cause more trauma very easily. The people here are risking a lot to find relief and working very hard to find a new way to live in freedom and without constant emotional pain. It often takes years and decades, and it takes courage and heart.

If you don't understand, listen. Please don't presume or assume to tell these people what they should or should not feel. No one has that right.

Wysteria Blue