As far as dealing with my kids goes, I can honestly say that I've improved because I'm not yelling at them but I'm definitely still kind of 'disconnected' because that's how I respond when I feel overwhelmed. And I feel overwhelmed with my kids all the time. (They're 3 and 2) I guess what I'm saying is I want to be emotionally available for them (my mom was totally emotionally disconnected from me growing up and she was depressed too) but how do I even do that? I guess this just reveals just how emotionally constipated I am, but how do you encourage connections with your children? How do I make myself emotionally available? I feel like I have no idea how to do it. Suggestions?
I give them hugs and physical affection by holding them sometimes, but it still feels like the 'emotion' part is missing. I wonder if I'll be an emotional cripple forever, or if I can learn whatever it is I don't know how to do.
Anyway, kudos to me for getting through the day without being a (very) mean mom, but here's to hoping things can get better.