Hi there.
I think I am kind of on the brink of an eating disorder.
Before and at school, I eating nothing, except maybe picking at my lunch and drinking something. I get home, and tell myself to face the hunger because I deseve it. Soon after that, though, I break the pattern and fall into what I think is a binge. It's like I can't stop eating. It's hard to tell if I'm eating too much or not, but it sure feels like it. Then I shove my fingers down my throat and try very hard to throw up. It has only worked once. I do not throw up much, even once I had the stomach flu and I did not throw up much at all. I always try, though, then get on the scale and make sure I haven't gained weight. I feel so guitly, I eat as little as I can the next day. I feel extremely fat and ugly. I'm not technically overweight, according to my doctor, but I think I am very close to being so. I am... big. I hate looking like I do; so fat and ugly. When I gain weight, I cut myself as a punishment.

So... that's that. :/