(((((everyone)))))

I feel really bad about having left that message for dbtT yesterday. I regretted it as soon as I hung up, before that actually. It was a short message and I was just sobbing and begging her to please, please not give up on me. Then I took a breath and realized it was a mistake. I told her I know this isn't going to help, I'm sorry and then I said goodbye and hung up.

I have a lot of feelings about it. I truly don't expect her to call me back, except one tiny bit of my brain is waiting for her call. So there's that, but that's small. The big thing is that, if I was going to beg for one more chance, I think it could and would have been more effective to wait until I see her, and to ask her in person, using DBT interpersonal effectiveness skills. I'm afraid by calling I have ruined any chance there may have been at negotiating with her.

to be clear, what I want to negotiate is some time to taper off. I have 3 sessions left, which isn't much, but even if she isn't willing to give me a few more sessions, I at least feel like I need to space them out so it's more of a gradual ending.