I have a different kind of family history, but I often feel that I expend a tremendous amount of energy preparing and defending against a fear of constant attack from the outside world. It is exhausting to be on the alert and defending all the time. I don't want to walk around like that. When I'm able to drop my defenses, it feels like really being alive-- engaged in my world, living in the present, feeling connected to the people around me.
Anne
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