Background: We'll call her Old Therapist, or OT, to differentiate her from Current Therapist, or CT. I saw OT for a few months back in 2004. She dropped me because she didn't think she was helping. I thought she was. She referred me to someone else. Over the next 7 years, I called her back four times. Once to tell her the referral therapist wasn't working and I wanted to go back (after a couple of months), the second after a year or so when I hadn't found a new therapist that worked, in 2009 when my dad died and told her she helped and I still wanted to work with her, and in 2010 when I left her a message that I know she thought she hadn't helped me but she really had and that I was a different person and that I didn't want her to agree to see me, I wanted her to "interview" me and just meet with me once and see if she wanted to work with me (and I really did change after my dad died, I lost 85 lbs and after being obese my whole life I now have done a marathon, half marathon, triathlon, skydived, literally ran across mountaintops, etc). I am a lot more talkative in therapy and a lot more confident and assertive, etc. It's been a complete overhaul. She said no.

I found another therapist.

Back in 2010 after the last time she said no, I saw her at the gym a few times, we never acknowledged each other. Then I roamed around the same gym chain but different gym locations and I didn't see her again. Fast forward to a few months ago. There's a particular gym location I go to more than the others, 7 minutes away from home, and I usually take 20-25 group classes in a week. That's how I lost and maintained the weight loss. She started going to those classes, so I see her three or more times a week for five or more classes a week. One day, she just popped up and never left.

At first I thought I shouldn't acknowledge her because I know she doesn't like me or at least wants nothing to do with me. She ignored me too. But over the last few weeks, she has changed how she ignores me. If we are walking towards each other she will change her route to avoid me. If we happen to pass each other she will literally turn her head away. We've made eye contact unwittingly a few times and have not said a word to each other.

This last bit of turning her head away has finally started to piss me off. Hey, person here. I don't think she's treating me right, and I am tired of pretending she doesn't exist and I don't think she should go out of her way to avoid me. We can just pass each other normally. This has been going on for months.

CT thinks I should say "Hello OT" even if she's not making eye contact with each other to kind of assert myself. She doesn't think a former therapist should be going out of her way to ignore a past client to that degree. OT and I have been alone, just the two of us, in a room together as we set weights up for a class and I have not said a word to her.

So, should I say "Hello OT" next time I pass her even if she's not looking at me? What do I want out of this? I want a gym relationship. Hi, hey, cold outside, killer class, see you Friday, etc. I don't want coffee and donuts and baby showers and let me tell you my favorite places to shop. But I am going out of my way to ignore another human being and I personally don't want to expend all that energy on it anymore. I don't hate her. I still think highly of her. But up to now I only knew her therapy self and not her person self, so to speak, and I feel I've gotten to know her personal side over the past few months and I am disappointed.

CT also says I should say "Hello OT" now and then, not every time, even if she doesn't reply. Kind of a I'm here, I'm not pretending not to know you, and I don't agree with your treatment of me.

I talk to EVERYBODY at the gym. I've met tons of people there, if I see a new person I'll go up to them and strike up a conversation, and I'm very social at the gym. She talks to other people sometimes. So other people are worthy of small talk but I'm not.

So, thoughts? Thanks!

P.S. If it makes a difference, she was seeing me for relationship issues, how to connect better with people, and feelings of rejection and abandonment. CT and I think OT might think that if she opens the door even a tiny bit and just says hi then I won't ever leave her alone and the floodgates will open. I think I have shown self-constraint and deserve an opportunity to show her that will not happen.

And if it makes a difference, I'm 33 and OT is 43, both women.