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a couple of things:
A few years ago a sister temporarily came back into my life. . . this was something I had hoped would go well however it was just a schmoz.
This is the scenario:
She entered and perused everything I owned, suggested many changes in my life and even took things from me which, at the time I was not aware of. She certainly smashed any hope I had about a loving relationship. I have no illusions now. Now when she comes up in my thinking I just am so disgusted by her behaviour that I just want to be sick. She (and a brother) also figured out how to get something special from me and I am just in shocked with myself when I think about how I didn't see what they were up to.
It is not what I would call a flashback but a hope that turned out to be a false one and I am sad and hurt and even at times angry. They re-victimized me and when I get these feelings I feel like I am allowing them to do just that, again! There is no more familial love for them (was there any in the first place?). They are broken and disgusting people who happen to be my blood relatives.
Thankfully I can focus on my current family and I am grateful for them when thoughts of these siblings creep into my mind. I am so creeped out by their ways. "Sneaks, manipulators and destructors" are words that come to mind when I think of them now.
This is the other thing:
I cannot seem to shake the image of a mommy and baby drowning together in a plane crash. I didn't know these people but for some reason their images keep popping up at unpredictable times. It has been at least two years since this accident but I am just like right there...gad, I hate this.
Any suggestions?
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